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This is no long a friends only journal. M moved out Saturday. I… - --Let the World Change You and You can Change the World-- [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Tiffany

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[Jun. 6th, 2005|07:27 am]
Tiffany
This is no long a friends only journal. M moved out Saturday. I haven't eaten since Friday. I haven't slept since Friday. I throw up water. Yesterday my car finally died. I waited three hours for the cab,and I have no idea if the tow truck came.

I just can't believe that M is gone. I cried in the cab, I cried at work. Last night I swore he was next to me talking to me, but I think I'm so tired that I'm seeing things. I sleep in a nest of his clothes. All of this is killing me. I would give my life up for one last kiss... I'm in the ets crying. I didn't cheat on him. Yes, I was alone with James, but I swear on my love for M that nothing happened. I even hated having to babysit the guy. All I wanted was M. All I want is M. Please come back.... I swear to God, you can give me a lie detector test, I"LL PAY FOR IT! I did not cheat on you M. I LOVE YOU!!! I love you with all my heart. I can't go on like this... I don't want anyone but you. I don't want to love anyone but you. Please, come back to me.... Please, before my mother drives me away from you. I'll give up talking to my entire for you! I'll do anything! Just please.....Don't let me live a life without you...
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: crazykittylady
2005-06-06 06:04 am (UTC)
Don't do this to yourself.

If he doesn't trust you, he's not worth it. If you have to spend time convincing him that you're honest, he's not the one for you. Someone better will come along.
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[User Picture]From: cowboys__cliche
2005-06-06 09:16 am (UTC)
Once again, I agree with crazykittylady. No guy is ever great enough to say you can't live without him, or that you won't.

Love is not enough to keep a relationship going. Trust is a huge issue. You can't build a relationship if one person doesn't trust the other, no matter how hard you try.

Nobody should try to live your life for you...
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[User Picture]From: crazykittylady
2005-06-06 10:52 am (UTC)
And the very fact that you're feeling this way, I think, affirms the position that this boy is an abusive husband, waiting to come out.

From everything we've read, he's been verbally and emotionally abusive, not to mention manipulative. He's been stoping you from seeing your male friends, and trying to take control of your life.

It's no accident you feel so dependent on him.
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[User Picture]From: cowboys__cliche
2005-06-06 07:42 pm (UTC)
Uh huhhhh...
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[User Picture]From: spiritness
2005-06-07 04:47 am (UTC)
agreed- for sure... Moving on will be hard no doubt but growth is a NECESSARY part of life. Just think when you get past this, you are stronger and more mature and someone will see that and you will attract someone better! Embrace the pain and the idea that he is gone. It is time to grow, it is time to move on-

Best wishes
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[User Picture]From: crazykittylady
2005-06-07 05:21 am (UTC)
Best thing to do is to spend some time with people you care about. Why don't you go visit your mom? Or go back to california for a while longer? Could always visit canada!
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